Unexpected JOY

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Roughly three years ago I asked my hairdresser, Missy, to add a small, discrete streak of blue to my hair.  A touch of fun.  I never knew I could love a strip of blue hair so much! The next time I went in, we decided to do a layer of colors under the top layer of hair.  So if I put my hair half up, you’d see it.  Again, I fell in love with the color. So much so, I rarely wore my hair down.  It made me so happy to show others the beautiful colors.  It got to the point that I would get annoyed that I couldn't properly separate my hair so that the colors could be seen right.

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The time for being discrete was over. My next trip to the salon I went all out and we did full on My Little Pony hair.  We went with purples, teals, pinks and yellow, all very soft and pastel. 

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Since that December day I have had quite an array of colors.  I tend to lean toward the purples and teals, but not too long ago I was really inspired by Tae’s pink/magenta and had to try it.  When I went to Korea in the summer of  2017 I had bright blues, yellows, reds, pinks and purples.  Talk about standing out.  

When I started this colorful journey, I was afraid to stand out, to look different.  When I first added color, it made me happy, really happy. It felt good.  I felt good.  The more color I had, the happier it made me, the happier it made me, the less I cared about what other people might think.  Then an interesting thing began to happen, it made other people happy too.

Over the last three years, my hair has brought me so much JOY. In this time I realized that color was an expression of who I am and how see the world.  Over the last three years, not a week goes by, that I don’t have someone say something me about my hair. It has never been a negative interaction.

Of all the things said to me, my favorite is, “Thank you”.  The first time it happened was at KCON last year. As I was walking through the convention, a young lady stopped me and said, “Thank you for coloring your hair! It has made my day.” It really took me by surprise. 

Recently, I was at church, services had just ended and people were making their way out.  A man came over to me, hand outstretched.  He was probably in his mid 20’s, had long hair and cheerful smile.  He said to me, “I had to come over and just tell you how happy your hair made me.  I looked up from praying and saw it and it just filled me with JOY.”  He then gave me a hug and said, again, how much he loved it and then headed out. 

A few days ago I was in the food court at the local outlet mall.  I was heading out when a woman, probably in her late 70’s early 80’s stopped me and said “I love your hair so much! The colors are just so pretty! I was even going to try and sneak a picture of you but my phone is full.”  She had the biggest smile on her face. Again and again I am having these experiences. It is so genuine, so heartfelt, I can’t help but feel my own JOY from theirs.  

When someone goes out of their way to tell me I’ve brought them JOY, I am humbled immensely.  I am so grateful for their words, their kindness and their openness.  It has made me less afraid to say my own admirations to others, things that in the past, I would just think in my head but not offer up.  Imagine what kind of world it would be, if we all expressed our JOYS as we came across them.

It really starts with loving yourself and embracing what makes you happy. Your JOY will become JOY for others.  

🌸How I became ARMY🌸

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Twelve years ago (2007), I enrolled my son in a local taekwondo studio.  I knew nothing about martial arts, it was location that brought us to this studio. The instructors were enthusiastic and friendly, but what sealed the deal was that they gave him a paper with “philosophy” on it. Each belt level had to learn different aspects of Korean TKD as well as some general culture.  The homeschool mom in me was thrilled, physical education plus cultural studies, where do we sign?  

Nine years later, I was introduced to Kdrama From there I began listening to some K-pop mostly OST's. One of the older girls at my daughter's ballet school also happened to watch K-dramas and we would often chat about them between rehearsals and classes. One day she told me she had been too distracted by a kpop group to keep up with the dramas we'd been watching.  She told me about BTS and said I should really go on YouTube and check them out.  I have to admit I just couldn't fathom that anything found on YouTube could hold my interest.  

Several months later I went to KCON for the first time.  At one of the vender booths I found a variety of BTS stickers.  I immediately texted my dancer friend and asked who her favorite (I had not learned the term ‘bias’ yet) was from BTS so I could get her some.  I remember asking the girl behind the counter to help me decide which J-hope & Suga stickers to get for her. I was not at all familiar with even their names at this point. That changed when I got home and gave her her stickers.  She was genuinely thrilled and happy, so much so, I felt compelled to find out just who these boys were that a couple stickers would make her so happy (and would keep her from K-dramas).

She suggested that I watch the Dope MV.  That was it, game over, I was in.  I could not believe a group could be so coordinated, so in sync, so GOOD.  I proceeded to spend the next 8 months or so sending daily Bangtan bombs, vlives, pictures, and songs to two fellow kdrama watchers. We all became fast fans and even eventually went to Wings tour in Anaheim together.

By this time I had also enrolled in taekwondo and was well on my way to black belt.  In 2017, I earned my black belt, took a trip to Korea with our studio, was attempting to learn Korean and I had help start a small group chat of other older fans of BTS. The Hallyu wave swept me up! I had made friends from all over the world.  

I found BTS at a time in my life that was happy & full of good things. I didn't need them, but they brought me a joy that was consuming.  I have gone through several hardships since finding them & I am grateful every day that they are a part of my life.  They inspire me to work harder, to be better, to give more and to love who I am.

Meesh 🐸

PROMISE by Jimin

혼자 주저 앉아
생각만 커져가
언제부터 넌 날 아프게 했던가
너 조차도 모르잖아

너도 아프잖아 'cause you're mine
I just wanna blow your mind
이렇게 넌 또 멀어져 만 가는데
아무렇지 않은데
그렇게 말하는데
사실은 내가 그게 아닌가 봐

I want you to be your light, baby
You should be your light
더는 아프지 않게
네가 웃을 수 있게
I want you to be your night, baby
You could be your night
이 밤이 너에게 솔직할 수 있게

너도 아프잖아 'cause you're mine
I just wanna blow your mind
이렇게 넌 또 멀어져 만 가는데
아무렇지 않은데
그렇게 말하는데
사실은 내가 그게 아닌가 봐 oh

I want you to be your light, baby
You should be your light
더는 아프지 않게
네가 웃을 수 있게
I want you to be your night, baby
You could be your night
이 밤이 너에게 솔직할 수 있게

#Speakyourself

#Speakyourself








Art by  Mao

Art by Mao